The Shape of a Mother

Right after I put up my last post, I happened to stumble across a post on a message board on Baby Center from a lady who was feeling just like me: depressed over her post baby body.

Look, NO ONE tells you about the aftermath of childbirth and pregnancy. Yes, we all know about stretch marks, but there's SO much more that happens to your body than that. So it was great to find this post and know that there were so many other new Moms who felt the exact same way as me.

One woman who commented listed a fantastic website: The Shape of a Mother. It's a site that celebrates the post baby body and lets women tell their own post baby body stories. Whether these women love their bodies or hate them, they all have the guts to share their stories, their emotions and their pictures. Yup, they post pics of their post baby bodies. Even before I had a baby I wouldn't have had the balls to post pics of my body on a website, let alone after I had a baby.

The site just helps you feel less alone and makes you realize that your body may never be the same, but hopefully you will grow to accept it.

I Hate My Body/I Heart Pink

No matter what you do or what people tell you, there is no way to prepare yourself for what pregnancy and childbirth will do to your body.

Yes, I'm fully aware that I just gave birth to a child, but that doesn't mean I feel good about the way my body has transformed since that beautiful experience. I loved being pregnant, but I had a hard time adjusting to not being able to fit into my normal clothes. And I love being a Mom, but I'm having an even harder time not having my normal body and not being able to fit into my normal clothes. Although everyone I talk to tells me I look great (and I appreciate their compliments), I don't' feel great. I gained about 40lbs while I was pregnant and have lost about 30lbs so far (thank you, breastfeeding!). It's the last 10lbs that are killing me.

It didn't take too long for me to get tired of wearing maternity clothes after I gave birth, so I decided to go shopping for a couple of things while I was in my in between stage. Never in my life did I think it would be as horrifying as it was. Nothing fit. The actual size that I could fit into was devastating. I didn't think I looked that big, but apparently I was. And it's not just the extra weight that was causing my bigger size; it's also my larger hips. Good gawd...as if my hips weren't big enough already! Now they're even wider!

I know it took 10 months to put on this weight, so it'll take almost as long to take it off. I'm just impatient. ;) But I'm working on it, so hopefully I'll be back to normal sooner than later.

Speaking of after baby bodies...The media always shows beautiful models and actresses with their amazing post baby bodies. It's as if they lost all their pregnancy weight the day after they gave birth. In just four weeks, these ladies look totally stunning. It's so unfair! Of course, that certainly doesn't help with my insecurities. But I suppose if I had millions of dollars, a trainer and a personal chef, I'd look that great in four weeks, too.

Enter Pink. I'm a big fan of Pink. She's smart and sassy and hot. She doesn't give a f*ck what anyone thinks of her, and I truly appreciate that. So I was pretty stoked to find out she was pregnant at the same time I was pregnant. She gave birth about a month after me to a little girl. I wasn't expecting to see any pics of her until she was back to her awesome pre-baby body. But I was dead wrong! Check out Pink, out and about five days after giving birth and rocking her post baby body! Kudos to Pink! Thanks for being real! You look fantastic!

Photo: ivillage.com

8 Weeks!

It is absolutely stunning how much babies grow and evolve in a matter of a month. Waylon is 12lbs 14oz and changing every day. The most wonderful things he's started to do are smiling real smiles and cooing.

Oh my...his smiles and coos are heart melting. I can sit and have little conversations with him and he answers me back with the most adorable little ooo's and ahh's. It is completely amazing. Waylon will smile and coo at "Mr. Frog," his favorite toy, and when I read him his favorite book, Baby Panda (a soft book in red, black and white with lots of shapes). Waylon has also started to try and reach for and touch things. He still doesn't have complete control of his arms and legs, but it sure is cute to watch him swat at things. And he's been trying to roll over but hasn't succeeded quite yet.

This past weekend was one of our favorite times of the year: Goodguys Car Show. Hot rods from all over the country swarm into Columbus for the biggest car show of the year. We were so excited to take Waylon! He sat with his Daddy and his Great Grandma and watched all the cool cars roll in, and he loved it! Check out Daddy and Waylon next to our 1954 Belair!

The only major struggle I've had up until this point is breastfeeding. I stopped nursing him after about 2-3 weeks and just pumped. That transition went well until my milk supply couldn't keep up with Waylon's demand. I started supplementing with formula and that helped. But now...my milk supply is slowly but surely dwindling down to nothing. Sigh...at least I had a good 2 month run. Not being able to feed Waylon solely on breast milk made me feel like a failure. I know I'm not but I really wanted to go at least 6 months.

For any breastfeeding Moms out there, may I recommend the My Breast Friend breastfeeding pillow. Most people only know about the Boppy, but I think My Breast Friend is much better for breastfeeding. It's firmer. It wraps all the way around you and gives you much better support. The Boppy works, but feels a little more flimsy and doesn't give as much support. I love the Boppy for Waylon to lounge in and for his tummy time; we use it every day.

4 Weeks

Whew! That flew by WAY too fast! I know that as of the date of this post, Waylon is technically 7 weeks, but I'm running a little behind on my posts. He kind of takes up a lot of my time. ;)

Here's my little man at 4 weeks!

He takes so many cute pictures that I can't post just one....

And here's a picture of Waylon wearing his special "Okinawa" onesie. He is, after all, 1/4 Japanese...not that you can tell.

He's grown so much! At 5 weeks he weighed a little over 11lbs! He's a big eater...and a big pooper. He has big hands and long fingers, so we're all guessing he'll be a guitar player. Go figure.

I Hang Out With Rock Stars

That's right. Waylon was partying backstage with Blackberry Smoke at 3 weeks! You may remember that they played at our wedding. They are the most amazing bunch of guys and we're grateful to have them as friends. Thanks for letting us hang out!

Waylon is Here!

Yes! He finally arrived on May 4, 2011 at 9:29AM!!!!! He weighed 8lbs 13oz and was 21in long. Labor was WAY more painful and intense than I ever imagined. Yes, I had an epidural, but nothing prepared me for the pressure that came along with pushing. Yikes! At one point, Greg left the room while I was pushing because he was so overwhelmed by my pain and the fact that he couldn't do anything to help me. Don't worry, he only left for about 5 seconds and was in the room for the amazing moment our son was born.

When the doctor put Waylon on my stomach, I'd never felt so much love and amazement in all of my life. Greg and I (and our Moms, too) just cried and cried. He was so beautiful and perfect!

Motherhood is great, but it's also quite an adjustment. It's very strange to go from being so independent and then having a little guy who is completely dependent on you for everything. I've only had a couple of melt downs, which I think is pretty good. But when I look at Waylon's face...my heart just melts and everything gets better.

Let me just say that I'm stunned that I gave birth to such a white baby. I'm half Japanese, so I was totally expecting a baby with dark brown hair. Nope. I gave birth to a super white baby with blond hair. Ha! Waylon looks just like Greg. Sometimes I wonder if my genes are even a part of him because I don't see me in him at all! Ha!

Once again, the AMAZING Sharon Elaine Photography captured this special moment in our lives. I seriously don't know how Sharon manages to catch the most perfect pictures! She took the cutest pictures of Waylon when he was about 10 days old! :)

38 Weeks

We're in the home stretch now! Waylon could come at any moment!!!! Weeeeeee!!!! :)

This has probably been the most uncomfortable and bitchy I've been through this entire pregnancy. I have never been so exhausted in all of my life. It's very hard to not have the energy to do anything or to be out of breath from walking from one side of the room to the other. I'm frustrated because there are so many things I want to do, but I don't have the energy to do them. Sleeping is nearly impossible since I wake up 3-4 times a night to pee. I waddle instead of walk. My feet are swollen and hurt. I could go on and on and on...but I won't.

So far, I've had three...yes, three...baby showers. And now we're completely prepared for Waylon to arrive. We have everything we need. My friends and family are wonderful. THANK YOU to all of you!!!

And thank you to my friend, Sharon, for taking these amazing maternity photos. She also took our wedding photos and she's already scheduled to take pictures of Waylon when he gets here. Sharon, you are incredible and so very special to us. Check out my belly at 35 weeks! :)