And I don't mean that in the way the song intended.
Two months off birth control and I'm about to go ape shit. I'm not one who likes to take any kind of drugs, even if I have a headache. So the idea of actually getting on the pill wasn't that appealing to me because I really didn't want to mess with my body's natural state of being. But for the sake of not getting pregnant when I didn't want to, I got on the pill. Ten years later...and getting off of the pill is like trying to regain control of MY body. Holy shit...I'm a train wreck.
The first month seemed fine until my monthly visitor came around. I've never been overly bitchy around this time, so when this RAGING mean monster came out of me for about a week, I thought I was losing my mind. My husband couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong (nothing really) because I was shitty to him 24/7. It was uncontrollable. I knew I was doing it but I just couldn't get myself to stop. At one point as I was driving home for the grocery store and I wanted to cry my eyeballs out and beat the shit out of someone all at the same time. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me...until I realized that my body has been doped up on birth control for a decade and doesn't really know how to react without it, so it was just freaking out. Or so I thought.
We're on to month two and I can feel this bitchy monster making it's way out of me once again. I'm just angry. Everything makes me angry and I don't really know why. I swear I don't ever recall being this insane when I was a teen and not on birth control.
And it's not just the bitchiness that's different. It's everything about this time of the month that's different. I won't bore you or gross you out with the details but it's like hitting puberty and discovering my body all over again at the age of 32.
If I were you, I'd stay the hell away from me for about the next week. I'll let you know when the coast is clear. ;)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It's the one thing in life I knew I had to have. It's the only thing I knew I was born to do. It was always happening to someone else, not me. And now that it's in my near future, it all seems so bizarre.
Preperation for this moment has been months in the making. There has been a doctor's visit with random medical history questions about diseases and disorders I've never even freaking heard of. That led to blood tests and shots and starting on a multi-vitamin. I've been trying to eat healthy and work out (so I don't weigh 200lbs during the ordeal). I've been taking the pill for almost 10 years. That daily routine stopped on Friday and was replaced with prenatal vitamins. Now I lather myself in cocoa butter to avoid stretch marks and check my ovulation calculator. Next step...get pregnant.
Lucky for me, I have a partner in crime through all of this. Not my husband, Greg, but one of my very best friends, Jenelle. Jenelle is married to my husband's best friend, Josh, and together Jenelle and I plan on getting knocked up at the same time. Woohoo! That way, we can bitch and moan and console each other throughout our pregnancies (and after) and our husbands can commiserate together...and bitch and moan about how bitchy and moany we are. Not only will my husband be there to support me, but my best friend will be too! Plus, Greg and Josh grew up together and it would be amazing to have our children grow up together and be life long friends.
I would like to congratulate one of my very good friends, Paul, from Blackberry Smoke, and his fiance, Amanda. They will be the proud parents of a rockin' little boy, Emerson, on Thursday! Emerson already has an older brother and an older sister, Spencer and Sadie. Congrats to you all! I love you guys!
And check out my friend Gillian's Etsy site: Burkeheart Baby. She crafts cute baby shoes and bibs and knits the most adorable gnome hats for your little one! Half of the proceeds of some items goes to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and Touching Little Lives, in honor of Gillian's first son, Burke. Go there and check out her super cute stuff! Support handmade goods!