Friday, October 2, 2009

She's a Crazy Bitch

And I don't mean that in the way the song intended.

Two months off birth control and I'm about to go ape shit. I'm not one who likes to take any kind of drugs, even if I have a headache. So the idea of actually getting on the pill wasn't that appealing to me because I really didn't want to mess with my body's natural state of being. But for the sake of not getting pregnant when I didn't want to, I got on the pill. Ten years later...and getting off of the pill is like trying to regain control of MY body. Holy shit...I'm a train wreck.

The first month seemed fine until my monthly visitor came around. I've never been overly bitchy around this time, so when this RAGING mean monster came out of me for about a week, I thought I was losing my mind. My husband couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong (nothing really) because I was shitty to him 24/7. It was uncontrollable. I knew I was doing it but I just couldn't get myself to stop. At one point as I was driving home for the grocery store and I wanted to cry my eyeballs out and beat the shit out of someone all at the same time. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me...until I realized that my body has been doped up on birth control for a decade and doesn't really know how to react without it, so it was just freaking out. Or so I thought.

We're on to month two and I can feel this bitchy monster making it's way out of me once again. I'm just angry. Everything makes me angry and I don't really know why. I swear I don't ever recall being this insane when I was a teen and not on birth control.

And it's not just the bitchiness that's different. It's everything about this time of the month that's different. I won't bore you or gross you out with the details but it's like hitting puberty and discovering my body all over again at the age of 32.

If I were you, I'd stay the hell away from me for about the next week. I'll let you know when the coast is clear. ;)